Missy and Bruno celebrated their birthdays last Friday with a costume party at the UWA Tav (ahhh … the old alma mater) . The theme was Heroes and Villains and it was good to see that everyone got into the spirit of things and dressed up on the night. I was especially impressed with Jonesy’s Magnum PI ensemble.
I dressed up as a vampire, and what a hassle that was.
I had grease paint all over my face and I was melting under it, but couldn’t wipe away any sweat because then the makeup would smudge. The ninja turtle girls seemed less green as the night went on, so they may have had similar issues with their makeup.
I had a pair of fangs which came with a cement that was supposed to affix to my canine teeth. Unfortunately, they didn’t mix well with alcohol and the cement changed to the consistency of melted chewing gum with sand in it. I spent the night talking through my teeth as I used them to clamp down on the fangs to keep them in place.
My favourite part of my costume was a vial of fake blood, that looked awesome for 10 minutes after each application but then dried out. I reapplied it throughout the night and I went from having a small trickle of blood at the corner of my mouth to having a bloody maw covered in congealed blood. For the last few days I’ve had red ink stains on my face and there is now a rash, because I am seemingly allergic to it. Non-toxic indeed!
The night had a slightly unpleasant end: I was rambling down Rokeby Road from Richard’s residence after the party and was the victim of a drive-by.
A car drove up behind me.
*whack*
-an impact on my side.
*whack*
-an impact on my back.
As the car, carrying four hoons, sped off, I wondered what the projectiles had been - they felt too soft to be rocks, but I was not covered in yolk and albumen indicating eggs were used.
I checked the ground - they were eggs. But I rechecked my body - no goo. They’d BOUNCED!
My years of preparatory training had paid off.
