A few weeks back I saw X-Men: The Last Stand and the after-movie talk in the cinema carpark included some of the useless powers that some of the mutants had. We also came up with other potential useless powers - my favourites were the ability to be dead on cue and then become alive again, or the ability to change the colour black into soft pastels and go out attacking emos and goths.

Anyway, it could be the dry weather lately but I have manifested the unlimited awesome power of static electricity. Doors, my computer, the kitchen sink at work - all have fallen prey in the past two days to my galvanising touch. There’s been crackling static noises and different objects attracting my hair. Now if only I can harness this power for evil before the forecasted rain comes tomorrow.